How can someone hate herself so much? The sun reveals itself slowly- like the prize whore- the one that’s so beautiful. She hides. Shy. Prudish. Does he notice this? The way the sun plays so coyly with everyone including him? She doesn’t know. What about the Dalmatian cement? Does he see that when he leaves work? Of course he doesn’t. What did she do? A bird in the hand is better than 2 in the bush- yeah? Well nobody acts that way. At least she didn’t. She let her bird in the hand go.

It rose up inside her- quickly. But what was it? Her mind was right there- with it- in its midst. She still could not identify it. It was as if she was seeing it through water- distorted and swaying. It continued to rise- up and up and up. And then it was gone. It had disappeared behind a cloud. She felt like weeping- just like the sticky kid who had been too caught up with his cotton candy to hold on to his balloon, who watched helplessly as it flew towards the heavens, tugging at his mother’s arm, pleading with her to bring it back.

For some reason- amidst the frenzied grasping and rolling around she thought of an act she saw once in a circus. There had been a dainty woman- a waify little thing- and she wore a bejeweled feather headdress and a sparkling unitard. She rode atop a similarly clad horse, standing in its saddle. As the horse trotted around the circle, lifting his knees in a very prissy sort of way, the woman looked very much like the water spiders that used to skid along the top of puddles back at home. There was something about this woman’s feat that made one think of Christ walking across water. At least that’s what she’d thought of when she’d seen it- she’d dropped her cotton candy she’d been so impressed. And as she watched the horse do its laps she felt as though she knew what the disciples must have felt like that afternoon on the sea.

although the room was dark she knew he was getting sick of her-it must have been his tendency to shrug with his whole body.

She walks on her toes. But whenever this point is brought to her attention she takes special care to put all her weight in her heels with each step. Overcompensating, she looks like a toy soldier marching off to defend a gumdrop palace. She despises people who walk on their toes. Makes people motion sick to watch, she says.

Today i bummed a smoke off a nun.
But she didn't have a light.
What a tease.

free bouncy rides

spotted today:

giant furry walking dolphin waiting for the L offering "free bouncy rides" to the masses.

i'm not entirely sure what is the strangest:

• he was walking
• he was furry
• he was offering free bouncy rides

maybe it was that he was wearing snow boots in May.